Hi dears,
There’s a lot happening in the world right now and a lot of us are feeling stretched. Trump’s first 2 weeks in office have been stressful for a lot of us. Add to this rising climate anxiety, Israel’s breach of the ceasefire agreement, Meta and Musk; the list goes on. Perhaps stuff has been coming up for you, too. I recorded another podcast episode! In this off-the-cuff conversation, I share some of what’s been coming up for me and my clients since Trump’s recent inauguration. I discuss some of where politics intersects with coaching, and why we need to lean into those conversations. I also offer some tools for working through whatever’s coming up for you right now, and my thoughts on one of my favourite topics: freedom! You can listen here or on Spotify here.
Truth heals.
The truth can be a pain in the arse. It can be uncomfortable, and yet, what I’ve noticed working with clients is that, when we acknowledge the truth of a situation, it always feels relieving. Like an exhale. When I tell clients difficult truths, there’s a part of them that is always relaxed in hearing it. Even when it’s painful. This is one reason I transitioned from healthcare to coaching: it’s easier to be honest. Being a healthcare practitioner sometimes came with this weird pressure to become invisible- to totally disappear and become a mirror, an empty container for my clients to empty into. This is how we're taught to be, and I know many practitioners who feel this way. Either that, or they become disillusioned and burnt-out, and do the opposite, becoming rude or aggressive in the way they deliver news or diagnoses. Yet there is a middle ground. And as someone who’s committed to truth, coaching is somehow an easier space for me to navigate.
Here are some of MY truths right now. They're political, because health and wellbeing has always been political, and yet, we live in a strange time where healthcare providers are told to be 'not political’, or are threatened with loss of licensure (this happened recently during the covid pandemic in Australia, where practitioners who questioned compulsory vaccinations for certain populations such as children were threatened with de-registration, even though they were often correctly pointing out a paucity of safety data). These are my truths, but they don’t have to be yours. You don’t even have to agree- the amazing thing about life is that everyone is allowed to make their own decisions. It’s incredibly liberating to realise that, by affording you your likes and dislikes- you may not like this newsletter and you may not even like me- everything is still OK. I’m still OK! It's not a reflection of my worth just because you don't like me. You don't like me because you don't like me! Perhaps you like me most of the time, but you're hungry and tired today. Or maybe there was a Mickey in 3rd grade who pissed you off. Whatever it is, it's not mine to problem solve. And by affording you your humanity, I also afford me mine.
Some of my truths right now (for how to find your own truths, read on to the next section):
There’s WAY more happening than just American politics right now, and yet, living in a globalised world means that American politics also affects all of us, even those of us outside the US. Not only through American discourse and culture, for better and for worse, but also through their militarist-imperialist-capitalist agenda, and through the Internet, which is an American space, largely built out of and run by Silicon Valley. If for no other reason, the simple act of engaging with the Internet Americanises us.
I feel angry, I feel sad, I feel grief for the undoing of progress, I feel scared. I also feel determined, I feel strong and connected, I feel like stepping up, I feel like leaning in (I often find it useful to describe the gestures as well as the emotions).
Although I mostly work 1-on-1 with people, we cannot ignore the ways systemic issues affect us on a personal level. It’s not the sole responsibility of the individual to solve all the world’s problems- indeed, we cannot. We also need to address change at the collective, political and environmental levels.
So much of the work ahead of me- and that I see in so many of my clients within the Global North/West- is trying to undo individualism and reconnect politically and collectively in ways that don’t centre private ownership and/or money. It’s both harder than it sounds and way simpler than we make it out to be.
We’ve been taught that we can figure it all out on our own. That, with enough reading and writing and reflecting, we can get all our emotions and thoughts in order, and hence get ‘on top of things’. But that doesn’t build healing or democracy in their truest senses, which are about being in relation with one another, and actively problem-solving together.
The discourses of privilege and identity, while useful and valid, often get in the way of us developing a broader class consciousness. For most of us in Europe, UK, Australia, America, Canada, and New Zealand, although we are afforded some privileges, we are still more part of the 99% than the super-privileged 1%. Most of us have to work to get by, most of us have bills to pay, many of us have landlords. While it’s important to recognise the privileges that we have, feeling ashamed about things you mostly didn’t ask to be born with can be paralysing, and get in the way of the real work: of connecting and listening and taking action.
I’m all for diversity, equity and inclusion. All gender and sexual identities will forever be welcome in my practice. Yet many of the political and social movements that we learn from weren’t just chasing DEI. They had bigger aspirations: freedom. Liberation. Somehow liberation has become associated with the political Right, and no longer the Left. Somehow it’s become a dirty word, associated with selfishness, hyper-individualism, and bypass. Yet DEI doesn’t inspire me the way freedom does. And I do believe we need to make change-making as delicious as possible.
Because freedom also includes fundamental notions of what it is to be human: the right to freely speak, act and change. Somewhat paradoxically, when we truly feel free- not just unshackled by work and circumstance, but free from drowning in our emotions, and are able to exist in loving relationship with our ever-evolving planet and ourselves- mostly, we don’t tap out. We lean in. With intention and conviction. An embodied sense of freedom is often the pathway to more care, love and generosity. Because the more we recognise our own humanity, the more we’re able to see it in others. As a coach, it’s liberation, not DEI, that is my true North. I work at it for myself every day; it’s what I wish for for all my clients.
Action is often multi-faceted and messy. But it doesn’t have to be directionless.
It's been pissing it down in Lisbon all week, so it was nice to have this little moment by the Rio Tejo in a rare moment of sunshine yesterday.
Questions for clarity in these ‘unprecedented times’:
What do we really know?
Getting clear on what we do and don’t know can be relieving in and of itself, and helps us begin to separate reality from projection. Often, we’ve come aboard the runaway Fear Train, moving at a million miles an hour, projecting all over the future. But it is the future: it is unknown. Get back to what’s really true, right here, right now.
How do you feel about what’s arising?
All emotions are valid, and all of them provide useful information. Not everyone is reacting the same way right now. A lot of what’s coming up for you is a highly individual and specific mirror for you. What can you learn? What can you teach the rest of us? What’s not yours that you can hand back?
What’s really important to you about this situation?
Get clear on what’s important to you and why.
Is there anything you feel like you need, that could be helpful here?
Get resourced. Internally and externally.
Is there anything that would feel helpful to let go of here?
What are the 2 next right steps?
No more than 2; they must be small and immediate; that you could action today. Not the “best” steps, from some kind of out-here cerebral position, which can lead us into a strivey place of over-exertion and sometimes even self-harm, but the 2 “ripest” steps from this moment. Ask it less of your head, and more of your gut, more of your heart.
My very own DEI program:In light of recent events, I’m offering my very own DEI program- called the Freedom Scholarships- for 3 people who're interested in coaching and a bit of extra support right now. 2 are for people who identify as LGBTQIA+, BIPOC, disabled, or as belonging to another marginalised community, and 1 for a person who identifies as an activist. What you'll get is 1 month of coaching (1x initial assessment, and then x2 follow-up sessions), a detailed action strategy plan, and continued ongoing support, all for 120 euros (more than 50% off). If you're interested, please reach out to me and I will send over the application. Applications close 16th February. Other field notes: - What I'm learning: I've been studying English and Irish indigenous mythology and ritual. Aka my indigenous traditions. Because we all come from indigenous peoples, and indigenous ways of knowing and being. I've also been learning Portuguese composite tenses. That, and the value of spending more time barefoot on the Earth. - What I'm reading: Edith Eger's The Choice (a reread). Highly recommend. The book I talked about in the latest podcast episode was Inflamed: Deep Medicine and the Anatomy of Injustice by Rupa Marya and Raj Patel. I will probably do a whole episode on this book. - What I'm listening to: Upstream podcast. A socialist podcast. - What I'm dancing to: Chaka Khan- Fate. Ooooft baby. - I finished my new website! (Well, besides the new headshots still to come). Check it out here. - You can book a coaching session with me (or a free 15-min discovery call) here. - Apply for 1 of the 3 coaching scholarships by replying to this email. Any questions, reach out. Wana simply say hey? Reach out! I always reply.
In love and solidarity,
Mickey
#MakeYourMove